https://babylonbee.com/news/cia-breaks-up-isis-plot-to-use-incorrect-pronouns
CIA Breaks Up ISIS Plot To Use Incorrect Pronouns | Babylon Bee
LANGLEY, VA—The Central Intelligence Agency has already seen results of its new intersectional hiring campaign. The Agency’s recent recruits have announced...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/weird-nunes-memo-just-says-confirmation-bias-big-letters/
Weird: The Nunes Memo Just Says 'CONFIRMATION BIAS' In Big Letters | Babylon Bee
U.S.—The infamous Nunes memo everyone has been waiting for was finally released Friday and—this is weird—the document only has the words “CONFIRMATION BIAS”...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-solemnly-don-tinfoil-hats-before-grilling-barr-on-mueller-report
Dems Solemnly Don Tinfoil Hats Before Questioning Barr On Mueller Report | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democratic senators on the Senate Judiciary Committee grilled Attorney General William Barr on the Mueller Report at a special hearing...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/ninth-circuit-court-overturns-death-of-ruth-bader-ginsburg
Ninth Circuit Court Overturns Death Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Babylon Bee
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In a landmark ruling, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has overturned the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In a close...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/harvard-teaches-incoming-students-valuable-life-lesson-that-people-can-never-change
Harvard Teaches Incoming Students Valuable Life Lesson That People Can Never Change | Babylon Bee
CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a powerful statement, Harvard reminded its incoming students that people can never change, that offended people who don't like you can ruin...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/11-flags-scattered-along-national-mall-to-represent-average-biden-rally-attendance
11 Flags Planted Along National Mall To Represent Average Biden Rally Attendance | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a moving display of support for incoming president Joe Biden, eleven flags were planted in the National Mall to represent the average...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/new-streaming-service-censors-all-politics-in-sports
New Streaming Service Censors All Politics In Sports | Babylon Bee
PROVO, UT—A new video service, SportsAngel, will let you stream all your favorite sports games while bleeping out objectionable content, like protests,...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote | Babylon Bee
RICHMOND, VA — In the wake of the Virginia Supreme Court striking down the commonwealth's redrawn voting map, Democrats proposed a new measure that just makes...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-proposes-ban-on-straws-after-learning-trump-won-straw-poll
AOC Proposes Nationwide Ban On Straws After Learning Trump Won Straw Poll | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, DC — Following former President Donald Trump's overwhelming victory in CPAC's straw poll for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, New York...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/come-on-man-that-was-4-or-5-days-ago-says-serial-killer
'Come On, Man! That Was 4 Or 5 Days Ago!' Says Serial Killer To Police | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Local serial killer "Murderin'" Matthew Fallgreen was confronted by police about his latest murder. Luckily, he was ready with an airtight...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/man-sure-is-glad-he-switched-from-e-cigs-to-regular-healthier-cigarettes
Man Sure Is Glad He Switched From E-Cigs To Regular, Healthier Cigarettes | Babylon Bee
GRASS VALLEY, CA—In response to a record of nearly 10 deaths that could possibly relate to the use of e-cigarettes and vaping, lawmakers in multiple states...
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https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php/topic,130642.msg1520067.html?PHPSESSID=4gn7rj7f3l1ahhsubsrgsl03ot
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https://babylonbee.com/news/google-gemini-finally-draws-white-man-after-being-prompted-to-generate-clarence-thomas
Google Gemini Finally Draws White Man After Being Prompted To Generate Clarence Thomas | Babylon Bee
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Google's new image generation software Gemini is facing criticism after thousands of users noticed the AI refused to depict white males in...
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https://mrcfreespeechamerica.org/case/babylon-bee-9
The Babylon Bee | MRC Free Speech America
Facebook limits monetization on Babylon Bee video making fun of stringent gun laws: Satirical news site The Babylon Bee posted a video called "Murderer...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/british-citizens-politely-ask-if-they-can-be-liberated-from-radical-islam-next/
British Citizens Politely Ask If They Can Be Liberated From Radical Islam Next | Babylon Bee
LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/dave-ramsey-enjoys-morning-dive-vault-filled-budgetary-envelopes
Dave Ramsey Enjoys Morning Dive Into Vault Filled With Budgetary Envelopes | Babylon Bee
FRANKLIN, TN—Maintaining his decades-long daily routine, popular author, speaker, and financial advisor Dave Ramsey enjoyed a morning dive Friday into his home...
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https://www.christianpost.com/news/babylon-bee-founder-sells-remaining-stakes-in-satire-site.html
Babylon Bee founder sells remaining stakes in satire site | Entertainment
Nov 1, 2023 - The Christian webcomic creator who founded The Babylon Bee announced that he's sold off the remaining stake that he had in the popular satirical website.
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https://christianaction.org/babylon-bee-will-not-delete-or-retreat-on-its-tongue-in-cheek-tweet/
Babylon Bee will not delete or retreat on its tongue-in-cheek tweet - Christian Action
Sep 10, 2026 - Why are transgender people exempt from being joked about? Or is that just one of the things that makes joking about them even more irresistible?
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https://babylonbee.com/news/tiger-woods-license-suspended-after-court-determines-he-is-half-asian
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian | Babylon Bee
JUPITER, FL — A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asian.
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https://generaldispatch.whatfinger.com/babylon-bee-we-asked-ai-to-simulate-how-the-founding-fathers-would-react-to-our-time-and-they-were-shocked/
Babylon Bee: We Asked AI To Simulate How The Founding Fathers Would React To Our Time And They Were...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/whistleblower-releases-zuckerbergs-1400-page-manual-on-how-to-look-and-act-like-a-human
Whistleblower Releases Zuckerberg’s 1,400-Page Manual On How To Appear Human | Babylon Bee
MENLO PARK, CA — A whistleblower inside Facebook publicly released a 1,400-page internal document trying to explain to Mark Zuckerberg how to appear human.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/belief-three-members-dc-talk-one-person-condemned-heresy
Belief That All Three Members Of DC Talk Are One Person Condemned As Heresy | Babylon Bee
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Addressing the grave false teaching that has reportedly infiltrated thousands of churches around the world, an emergency ecumenical council...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-asks-if-he-can-get-his-baggie-of-cocaine-back-from-the-white-house-now
Hunter Asks If He Can Get His Baggie Of Cocaine Back From The White House Now | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After news broke that he had received a full presidential pardon from his father for any crimes committed in the last decade, Hunter Biden...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/swarm-of-locusts-in-book-of-revelation-revealed-to-be-twitter
Swarm Of Locusts In Book Of Revelation Revealed To Be Twitter | Babylon Bee
U.S.—Bible scholars revealed Thursday they've discovered the true identity of the swarm of locusts in the book of Revelation: Twitter.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/9-most-dangerous-places-to-be-a-christian
9 Most Dangerous Places To Be A Christian | Babylon Bee
While many American Evangelicals often lose sight of it, the reality is that there are still places throughout the world where it is dangerous to live as a...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/ibm-watson-dons-wig-becomes-top-female-jeopardy-earner
IBM's Watson Dons Wig, Becomes Top Female 'Jeopardy!' Earner | Babylon Bee
CULVER CITY, CA—IBM’s Watson A.I. made history this week when it put on a fancy wig and became the top female Jeopardy! contestant of all time.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/shocking-woman-who-wants-your-money-endorsed-by-people-who-take-your-money
Shocking: Woman Who Wants Your Money Endorsed By People Who Take Your Money | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development, the woman who wants everyone's money has been endorsed by the people who take everyone's money.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/this-is-an-oldie-but-a-goodie-says-worship-leader-about-song-from-2021/
‘This Is An Oldie, But A Goodie’ Says Worship Leader About Song From 2021 | Babylon Bee
PORTLAND, OR — Worship leader Paul "Seven-String" Johnson recently introduced a worship song that came out in 2021 as a "classic hymn," according to sources at...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/local-man-takes-15th-annual-before-photo
Local Man Takes 15th Annual ‘Before’ Photo | Babylon Bee
MEEKER, CO — The new year started off optimistically for local resolution enthusiast, Carson Blenvy, who dove right into his resolve to lose 30 pounds of fat...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/estimated-9-billion-already-dead-from-texas-mask-mandate-reversal
Estimated 9 Billion Already Dead From Texas Mask Mandate Reversal | Babylon Bee
WORLD—We were warned. Only one day after Texas succumbed to neanderthal thinking and reversed the mask mandate, experts reported an estimated 9 billion people...
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https://www.catholic.com/audio/cot/ffaf-babylon-bee-articles-that-get-me
FFAF: Babylon Bee Articles That Get Me | Catholic Answers Podcasts
In this free-for-all-Friday Trent shares three Babylon Bee Articles that completely get his life as a millennial aged husband and father.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/patriots-draft-marriage-counselor-in-second-round?
Patriots Draft Marriage Counselor In Second Round | Babylon Bee
PITTSBURGH, PA — With their second-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots have officially selected marriage counselor Amy Connors out of...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/emergency-constitutional-amendment-bans-taylor-swift-fans-from-voting
Emergency Constitutional Amendment Bans Taylor Swift Fans From Voting | Babylon Bee
U.S.—An emergency constitutional amendment proposed and quickly passed earlier this week now bans fans of Taylor Swift from voting in local and national...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/fauci-the-needs-of-the-individual-are-outweighed-by-the-needs-of-the-borg-collective
Fauci: 'Individual Rights Are Not As Important As The Needs Of The Borg Collective' | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After suddenly disappearing for a few days, Dr. Fauci returned wearing an odd face mask connecting to metal tubes and covered in blinking...
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https://craighuey.com/finally-babylon-bee-trump-worried-everyone-will-quit-before-he-can-tell-them-youre-fired/
Finally… Babylon Bee: Trump Worried Everyone Will Quit Before He Can Tell Them ‘You’re Fired’ |...
Nov 21, 2024 - The Babylon Bee is brilliant. It’s satire that’s powerful. Check out their hilarious article that will surely make you laugh… WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reports...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/how-major-news-outlets-are-reporting-the-death-of-the-ayatollah/
Here's How Major News Outlets Are Reporting The Death Of The Ayatollah | Babylon Bee
Fox News: Trump Strikes Iran In 'Perfectly Executed' Military Operation
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https://babylonbee.com/news/local-man-fires-off-flare-gun-inside-hobby-lobby
Local Man Fires Off Flare Gun Inside Hobby Lobby To Locate Wife | Babylon Bee
LA MESA, CA—After waiting for over three hours for his wife and not seeing even a fleeting glimpse of her, local man Bill Gatling fired off a flare gun inside...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/don-lemon-immediately-bursts-into-flames-upon-entering-church
Don Lemon Immediately Bursts Into Flames Upon Entering Church | Babylon Bee
SAINT PAUL, MN — An already traumatic incident turned even worse on Sunday, as former CNN personality and apparent left-wing protest ringleader Don Lemon...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/twitter-throws-babylon-bee-into-fiery-furnace-after-refusal-to-worship-pride-flag
Twitter Throws Babylon Bee Into Fiery Furnace After Refusal To Worship Pride Flag | Babylon Bee
BABYLON—According to sources not yet thrown into the fiery furnace, The Babylon Bee was taken by Twitter and thrown into a fiery furnace after refusing to...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-unveils-tax-the-rich-tesla
AOC Unveils Custom 'Tax The Rich' Tesla | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the fight to tax the wealthy to the streets today with the unveiling of her custom-made, $100,000...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/heres-an-exclusive-inside-look-at-15-new-star-wars-shows
The Babylon Bee Presents An Exclusive Inside Look At 15 Upcoming Star Wars Shows | Babylon Bee
Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at The Babylon Bee...
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https://newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/clay-waters/2021/03/21/ny-times-joke-newspaper-babylon-bee-trafficked-misinformation
NY Times, Joke of a Newspaper: Babylon Bee 'Trafficked in Misinformation' Disguised as Satire |...
The headline at the New York Times, was promising: “For Political Cartoonists, the Irony Was That Facebook Didn’t Recognize Irony -- As Facebook has become...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/adult-has-smoothie-for-lunch
Adult Has Smoothie For Lunch | Babylon Bee
ATLANTA, GA—According to reports, local man Wayne Simmons is having a smoothie for his lunch, despite being a fully-grown adult man.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/mlb-introduces-10-run-mercy-rule-for-boston-red-sox
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox | Babylon Bee
BOSTON, MA — To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be implementing a 10-run "mercy rule" for the Boston Red Sox.
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https://www.theamericanconservative.com/when-the-content-police-came-for-the-babylon-bee/
When the Content Police Came for the Babylon Bee - The American Conservative
Nov 13, 2019 - The satirical site's creator opens up on how Facebook tried to destroy his livelihood.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-egalitarian-church-hosted-potluck-no-one-brought-sandwiches
Sad: This Egalitarian Church Hosted A Potluck But No One Brought Any Sandwiches | Babylon Bee
First United Methodist in Covington is an egalitarian church which prides itself on treating men and women the same. You go, church!
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https://babylonbee.com/news/joe-manchin-and-mitt-romney-forced-to-sit-at-the-no-friends-table-at-lunch
Joe Manchin And Mitt Romney Forced To Sit At The 'No Friends' Table At Lunch | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources in Washington, Senators Manchin and Romney have been forced to relocate to the "no friends" table in the Capitol...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/angry-fans-petition-god-to-rewrite-ending-of-bible
Angry Fans Petition God To Rewrite Ending Of Bible | Babylon Bee
U.S.—Over a million angry fans of the Bible have petitioned God Almighty to rewrite the ending of the Bible, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/thousands-come-to-worship-at-miraculous-mask-stain-that-looks-just-like-fauci
Thousands Come To Worship At Miraculous Mask Stain That Looks Just Like Fauci | Babylon Bee
REDMOND, WA—In what many call a “science miracle,” a mask worn by four-year-old Addison Stephens developed a stain that some say looks just like Dr. Anthony...
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https://www.faithwire.com/2019/08/01/christian-satire-website-babylon-bee-retains-legal-team-claims-snopes-is-working-to-demonize-it/
Christian Satire Website Babylon Bee Retains Legal Team, Claims Snopes Is Working to ‘Demonize’ It...
Aug 1, 2019 - The founding editor of the Christian satire website The Babylon Bee announced recently the popular outlet has retained a legal […]
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https://babylonbee.com/news/dmt-hitting-joe-rogan-hard-as-he-could-swear-zuckerbergs-eyes-just-blinked-sideways
DMT Hitting Joe Rogan Hard As He Could Swear Zuckerberg's Eyes Just Blinked Sideways | Babylon Bee
AUSTIN, TX — "Whoa, bro. Whoa," said Joe Rogan as he interviewed Mark Zuckerberg earlier this week. "Did... did you just, like, blink your eyes sideways?"
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https://babylonbee.com/news/police-slowly-escort-white-hearse-containing-oj-simpson
Police Slowly Escort White Hearse Containing O.J. Simpson | Babylon Bee
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mourners and curious onlookers alike gathered along the 405 freeway in Southern California to bear witness as Los Angeles Police vehicles...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-agrees-to-just-sit-back-and-watch-the-left-eat-itself-alive/
Nation Agrees To Just Sit Back And Watch The Left Eat Itself Alive | Babylon Bee
U.S.—The nation agreed Thursday to just sit back and let the left eat itself alive without any action from opposing political groups.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/mamdani-lays-wreath-at-tomb-of-the-unknown-hijacker
Mamdani Lays Wreath At Tomb Of The Unknown Hijacker | Babylon Bee
NEW YORK, NY — In a somber ceremony Friday morning, Mayor Zohram Mamdani laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Hijacker in remembrance of the 25th...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/new-bible-reading-app-just-texts-you-the-entire-bible-one-verse-at-a-time/
New Bible Reading App Just Texts You The Entire Bible One Verse At A Time | Babylon Bee
U.S. — A new Bible reading app called Daily Crumbs has taken the Christian community by storm thanks to the accessible way it guides users through the holy...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/sunday-school-kid-had-different-expectations-for-sword-drills
Sunday School Kid Had Different Expectations For Sword Drills | Babylon Bee
ABILENE, TX — Local 8-year-old Caden Maxwell came home from Sunday School sorely disappointed that "Sword Drills" turned out to be far different than what he...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/vegas-odds-now-25-1-christ-will-return-mayweather-mcgregor-fight-happens
Vegas Odds Now 25-1 That Christ Will Return Before Mayweather, McGregor Fight Happens | Babylon Bee
LAS VEGAS, NV—With fight fans pining for what has been dubbed “the billion dollar fight” between MMA superstar Conor McGregor and boxing legend Floyd...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/world-in-panic-as-science-announces-retirement
World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The entire world is in a panic this morning at the news that Dr. Fauci, the living embodiment of science itself, will be retiring in...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-murderers-excited-to-learn-killing-legal-if-you-say-you-were-sad
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad | Babylon Bee
U.S. — Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, provided the...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-replaces-all-text-fields-with-dropdown-menu-of-approved-things-you-can-say
Facebook Replaces All Text Fields With Dropdown Menu Of Approved Things You Can Say | Babylon Bee
MENLO PARK, CA—An update to Facebook went live overnight that removes all text fields and replaces them with a simple dropdown menu of approved things you can...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/man-with-strong-urge-to-eat-wicker-basket-settles-for-triscuit-instead
Man With Strong Urge To Eat Wicker Basket Settles For Triscuit Instead | Babylon Bee
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After experiencing a strong urge to eat a wicker basket, a man has decided to settle for the similarly rough texture and bland flavor of...
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https://babylonbee.com/book-of-prophecy?page=10
Babylon Bee | Our Definitive List of Fulfilled Prophecies
This sacred webpage depicts the hallowed collection of our fulfilled prophecies. Read on and be enlightened.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/after-relationship-between-parent-and-child-irreparably-broken-math-homework-is-done
After Relationship Between Parent And Child Irreparably Broken, Math Homework Is Done | Babylon Bee
ROCHESTER, MN — The relationship between Dave Fromm and his daughter Lucille may have been irreparably annihilated, but at least the math homework is finally...
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https://babylonbee.com/cleanArticle/twitter-is-dead-300-million-people-post-on-twitter
Babylon Bee | ‘Twitter Is Dead,’ 300 Million People Post On Twitter
Babylon Bee is the definitive source of fake news you can trust.
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https://babylonbee.com/news/report-god-still-has-no-plans-to-retire-as-righteous-judge-of-universe
Report: God Still Has No Plans To Retire As Righteous Judge Of Universe | Babylon Bee
HEAVEN—Through a publicist, the Lord Most High confirmed Thursday that He still has no plans to retire as the righteous Judge of the universe, despite the...
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https://babylonbee.libsyn.com/episode-8-the-snopes-episode
The Babylon Bee: Episode 8: The Snopes Episode
Show Notes! Kyle and Ethan are joined by Babylon Bee CEO, Seth Dillon to discuss the controversy surrounding Snopes and their recent and past coverage of the...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/father-lives-7-entire-lifetimes-before-rest-of-family-wakes-up
Dad Lives 7 Entire Lifetimes Before Rest Of Family Wakes Up | Babylon Bee
SPEARVILLE, KS — By the time his family woke up Tuesday morning, it had become clear to everyone that family patriarch Josh Billings had already lived seven...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/googles-self-driving-cars-all-naturally-veer-to-the-left
Weird: All Of Google's Self-Driving Cars Are Veering To The Left For Some Reason | Babylon Bee
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https://www.bugleverse.com/history/news/financial-analysts-predict-babylon-bee-to-file-bankruptcy-following-end-of-usaid/
History — Financial Analysts Predict Babylon Bee To File Bankruptcy Following End Of USAID —...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/hotel-holds-reasonable-breakfast-hours-of-457-503-am
Hotel Holds Reasonable Breakfast Hours Of 4:57-5:03 A.M | Babylon Bee
FORT WORTH, TX — A hotel located just outside the historic Fort Worth Stockyards is now serving breakfast during the reasonable times of 4:57 to 5:03, which...
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https://babylonbee.com/news/man-successfully-hides-drumming-ability-worship-leader-10-years/
Man Successfully Hides Drumming Ability From Worship Leader For 10 Years | Babylon Bee
WAUKESHA, WI—In what commentators are calling an inspirational story of uncommon bravery and willpower, local man Jim Etheridge, 33, revealed Monday he had...
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