https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/men-get-their-own-bullshit-body-types-2015032696744
Men get their own bullshit body types | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - AFTER decades of women being described as being ‘pear-shaped’ and similar, men have been given their own contrived body shapes.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/petrol-still-most-reasonably-priced-thing-at-service-stations-2-20250912260394
Petrol still most reasonably-priced thing at service stations | The Daily Mash
Sep 12, 2025 - DESPITE rising petrol prices it remains the only item at motorway service stations an average family can reasonably afford.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/alcohol/kate-puts-pathetic-amount-of-money-behind-soldiers-bar-20250317255620
Kate puts pathetic amount of money behind soldiers' bar | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/bit-at-back-of-edible-underwear-best-left-uneaten-20221202228802
Bit at back of edible underwear best left uneaten | The Daily Mash
Dec 2, 2022 - A COUPLE who purchased some edible knickers have discovered that it is best to leave the back part of it uneaten.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/opinion/columnists/one-womans-week-black-to-basics-201006182832
One Woman's Week: Black To Basics | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - By Karen FenesseyWHEN people ask me, 'Karen! Been watching the World Cup?', I always respond, 'World Cup? World Crap more like!'. Normally, Wimbledon is the...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/alcohol/man-invoices-employer-for-how-much-hed-have-drunk-if-he-went-to-works-do-20221220229447
Man invoices employer for how much he'd have drunk if he went to works do | The Daily Mash
Dec 20, 2022 - A MAN unable to attend his office Christmas party has invoiced his employer for the amount he would have drunk if he had.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/football-clubs-urged-to-panic-buy-early-2014011582573
Football clubs urged to panic buy early | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - FOOTBALL clubs are being advised to get their ill-advised transfer window panic buys in early before the rush.
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F*ck tha police, tweets Surrey Police | The Daily Mash
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Britain stares terrified at onrushing tsunami of Coronation bullshit | The Daily Mash
Apr 17, 2023 - THE UK is standing petrified, transfixed by an onrushing tidal wave of Coronation bullshit which will soon drown us all.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/work/how-to-negotiate-a-pay-rise-if-youre-a-pathetic-fking-coward-20210816211176
How to negotiate a pay rise if you're a pathetic f**king coward | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - ARE you both pathetic and pathetically underpaid? Trying to work up courage to ask for a small raise? Here’s how to cringe and beg.
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Zuckerberg to basically live in your house | The Daily Mash
Apr 4, 2019 - THE new Facebook App Store will provide a bewildering number of ways in which Mark Zuckerberg can move in with you, it has emerged.
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Sunak fans worried he might be a Tory | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - FANS of ‘Dishy Rishi' Sunak are beginning to wonder if their hero harbours Conservative sympathies.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/quiche-just-pizzas-unemployed-cousin-20171121139482
Quiche just pizza's unemployed cousin | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - QUICHE is just an underachieving distant relative of pizza, scientists have discovered.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/we-can-win-masterchef-and-university-challenge-says-scolari-200807291129
We Can Win Masterchef And University Challenge, Says Scolari | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - CHELSEA coach Luiz Felipe Scolari believes his team can win all three domestic trophies, the Champions League, University Challenge and Masterchef.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/middle-class-teenagers-ready-their-tales-of-trauma-for-freshers-week-20240917250964
Middle-class teenagers ready their tales of trauma for freshers' week | The Daily Mash
Sep 17, 2024 - TEENAGERS from comfortable homes are ready to regale their peers with their complex traumas for an unforgettable first night at university.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/zuma-to-buy-cheryl-cole-201003032521
Zuma To Buy Cheryl Cole | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - SOUTH African president Jacob Zuma arrived in London last night on the first leg of his bid to buy Cheryl Cole.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/charlotte-church-and-other-celebs-who-stupidly-didnt-stay-12-20240426247269
Charlotte Church, and other celebs who stupidly didn't stay 12 | The Daily Mash
Apr 26, 2024 - ‘WELSH songbird’ Charlotte Church has announced she is no longer a millionaire. Clearly growing up was a poor career choice that should have been avoided, as...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society?page=577
Society | The Daily Mash
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Nuclear Holocaust Could Knock 30% Off House Prices | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A GLOBAL nuclear war followed by a new dark age of terror and despair could further depress the UK housing market, according to the Halifax.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/letting-djokovic-stay-could-ruin-our-delicate-ecosystem-of-twats-says-australia-20220106215972
Letting Djokovic stay could ruin our delicate ecosystem of twats, says Australia | The Daily Mash
Jan 6, 2022 - ALLOWING Novak Djokovic to stay and compete in the Open could unbalance Australia’s ecosystem of enormous twats, the country has confirmed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/britons-descend-on-riyadh-with-average-cars-2014081989668
Britons descend on Riyadh with average cars | The Daily Mash
Feb 21, 2019 - HUNDREDS of Britons have made the annual trip to Saudi Arabia to show off their average cars.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/al-qaeda-to-rebrand-as-scimitar3000-20070907386
Al Qaeda To Rebrand As 'Scimitar3000' | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - THE world's leading terror provider is to overhaul its identity in a £20m rebranding strategy.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/our-policies-will-have-to-be-even-more-bollocks-to-distract-from-this-says-reform-20260904269107
Our policies will have to be even more bollocks to distract from this, says Reform | The Daily Mash
Sep 4, 2026 - REFORM are making the policies at today’s party conference 45 per cent more bollocks to distract from an expose of illegal funding.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/wifi-strength-improved-by-living-virtuous-life-britain-told-20220613222155
Wifi strength improved by living virtuous life, Britain told | The Daily Mash
Jun 13, 2022 - THE reliability of your home’s internet connection can be improved through good deeds and pure thoughts, senior UK church members said today.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/companies-that-do-boring-things-prefer-22-graduates-2013053170552
Companies that do boring things prefer 2:2 graduates | The Daily Mash
Nov 18, 2018 - EMPLOYERS offering dull jobs favour graduates with 2:2 degrees.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/public-unconcerned-that-police-think-they-should-be-in-charge-201108154194
Public unconcerned that police think they should be in charge | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - BRITAIN has thrown its support behind the unelected jobsworths who watched London burn for three days, it has emerged.
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Scotland picks incredibly strange fight | The Daily Mash
Jan 17, 2023 - SCOTLAND has chosen to pick rather an unusual fight with England, residents of both countries have agreed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/are-you-a-toddler-take-our-quiz-20210416207162
Are you a toddler? Take our quiz | The Daily Mash
Apr 22, 2021 - ALWAYS whinging? Unable to understand basic concepts like ‘bedtime’ and ‘rain’? You might be a toddler. Take our quiz to find out.
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11 things to think about instead of going to f**king sleep | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THERE is nothing more annoying than lying awake in bed wide awake because your brain won’t shut the f**k up. You’re probably thinking about some of these...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/living-in-england-its-own-form-of-assisted-dying-20241004251458
Living in England its own form of assisted dying | The Daily Mash
Oct 4, 2024 - EXISTING on this godforsaken island is a form of assisted dying in its own way, it has emerged.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/cornwall-was-great-says-liar-20190807188022
Cornwall was great, says liar | The Daily Mash
Jun 2, 2023 - A MAN who claimed his family holiday in Cornwall was great is obviously lying, it has been confirmed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/pound-drops-to-1-nectar-point-20190909188853
Pound drops to 1 nectar point | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - STERLING has plummeted to an all-time low against the Nectar point.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/are-you-completely-zen-or-just-utterly-lacking-in-personality-20180905176994
Are you completely zen or just utterly lacking in personality? | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - DO you exude mindfulness and wisdom or are you just a very dull person with flexible limbs? Take our test and find out.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/gun-enthusiasts-3d-print-functioning-charlton-heston-2013050767766
Gun enthusiasts 3D-print a functioning Charlton Heston | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/agony-aunt/your-problems-solved-with-holly-harper-103-201105113801
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper | The Daily Mash
May 8, 2018 - 'It all came to a head the other day when I slashed the tyres of her Mazda MX5 and scratched 'whore' onto the bonnet.'
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/asteroid-headed-straight-for-self-centred-astronomer-2014121293759
Asteroid headed straight for self-centred astronomer | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/man-yet-to-own-a-car-his-dad-respects-20200608197283
Man yet to own a car his dad respects | The Daily Mash
Jun 18, 2020 - A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/millennials-too-self-righteous-to-have-sex-study-finds-20181122179753
Millennials 'too self-righteous to have sex' | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - MILLENNIALS are too busy penning scathing comment pieces about how angry they are at baby boomers to have sex, a new study has found.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/this-would-be-a-nice-place-for-a-wedding-says-passive-aggressive-mother-in-law-20200730198922
'This would be a nice place for a wedding' says passive-aggressive mother | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE mother-in-law has caused tension by pointing out a location’s potential as a wedding venue.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/how-to-build-your-baby-bullshit-bunker-2-20190506147883
How to build your baby bullshit bunker | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THE Daily Mash presents a step-by-step guide to hiding out until the madness has passed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/alcohol/how-to-get-ripped-without-giving-up-booze-pete-hegseths-high-alcohol-workout-20251015261136
How to get ripped without giving up booze: Pete Hegseth's high-alcohol workout | The Daily Mash
Oct 15, 2025 - ANYONE else sick of gym bros saying you need to give up booze to get shredded? I’ve made heavy drinking part of my workout and I’m fitter than a Navy SEAL. You...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/trump-writes-furious-six-page-letter-to-santa-20191218191942
Trump writes furious six-page letter to Santa | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - PRESIDENT Trump has written an incoherent and angry six-page letter to Father Christmas asking him to end the impeachment process.
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Superyacht sets new standards in prick-focused design | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - A VAST floating pleasure palace is the ultimate prick machine, its designers have claimed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/how-to-show-your-friend-that-underneath-it-all-you-really-do-hate-her-20250201254496
How to show your friend that, underneath it all, you really do hate her | The Daily Mash
Jan 31, 2025 - FEMALE friendships endure for years through arguments, estrangements and falsity, kept going on a bedrock of mutual loathing. This is how to show her you...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/ping-pong-table-prevents-riots-2012070432929
Ping pong table prevents riots | The Daily Mash
Jan 15, 2019 - THE arrival of a ping pong table at a Tottenham youth club has prevented another summer of urban riots, it has emerged.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/opinion/columnists/power-thinking-with-dr-morris-oconnor-16-201105243860
Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - Most people fear the occult and rightly so, animal sacrifices can ruin a lunch party if all the guests aren't forewarned a chicken is going to get it in...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/posh-wankers-begin-planning-baffling-skiing-trips-20181004177979
Posh wankers begin planning baffling skiing trips | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - AS winter approaches, posh tossers have begun planning their annual skiing trips involving weird things normal people never do.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/work/woman-incorrectly-believes-she-could-have-back-up-career-on-onlyfans-20240417247013
Woman incorrectly believes she could have back up career on OnlyFans | The Daily Mash
Apr 17, 2024 - A WOMAN mistakenly believes that she could make a fortune on OnlyFans if she were to compromise her morals enough to sign up.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/alcohol/how-to-be-an-absolute-bellend-on-super-saturday-20200703198074
How to be an absolute bellend on 'Super Saturday' | The Daily Mash
Mar 23, 2022 - IT'S not long until scenes of drunken carnage begin to unfold on 4 July. But are you properly prepared to be an obnoxious, antisocial dick on 'Super Saturday'?
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Coughing during sex is fine, claim smokers | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - PAUSING during sex to have a lengthy coughing fit is fine, according to smokers.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/woman-who-took-quick-glance-at-instagram-looks-up-and-five-years-have-passed-20210208205084
Woman who took quick glance at Instagram looks up and five years have passed | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A WOMAN who had a quick one-second peek of Instagram has looked up to find five years of her life have disappeared.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/russia-hacking-crufts-for-years-20161215119060
Russia ‘hacking Crufts for years’ | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - RUSSIA has been hacking the Crufts computers to make all the weird-looking dogs win, it has emerged.
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Overconfident man not taking being dumped personally | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A MAN blessed with excessive self-confidence has no idea that he has been dumped because of his awful personality.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/end-of-iraq-war-marked-by-beginning-of-iraq-civil-war-201112164682
End of Iraq war marked by beginning of Iraq civil war | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - AMERICA'S withdrawal from Iraq will be marked by a special civil war as soon as the last helicopter leaves.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/five-inspirational-quotes-for-people-who-dont-believe-in-spiritual-hippy-bullsht-20190806187997
Five inspirational quotes for people who don’t believe in spiritual, hippy bullshit | The Daily Mash
Sep 30, 2022 - WANT to feel better about life without having to repeat wafty nonsense to yourself on a regular basis? Try these instead...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/woman-enters-fourth-day-of-circling-sainsburys-car-park-20171219141203
Woman enters fourth day of circling Sainsbury's car park | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A WOMAN has reached the limits of physical endurance after spending 96 hours trying to park at a supermarket.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/mourinho-only-47-scapegoats-away-from-blaming-himself-20151217104823
Mourinho only 47 scapegoats away from blaming himself | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - CHELSEA boss Jose Mourinho is beginning to run out of people to blame for his side’s catastrophic title defence.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/gaslighting-and-other-trendy-phrases-idiots-use-and-get-wrong-20201112202436
'Gaslighting' and other trendy phrases idiots use and get wrong | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - DO you like to sprinkle your conversation with contemporary phrases, but get them wrong and sound like an idiot? Here are some to avoid.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/man-realises-only-his-crap-friends-live-nearby-20200526196837
Man realises only his crap friends live nearby | The Daily Mash
Jun 4, 2020 - A MAN has realised that only the crap friends he never talks to anyway live near enough to visit safely.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/jordans-hand-in-marriage-to-avert-war-201205035190
Jordan’s hand in marriage to avert war | The Daily Mash
Feb 7, 2020 - PEOPLE'S princess Jordan has agreed to marry Argentinian Leandro Penna to prevent war between his country and the British Empire.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly/its-ok-to-cry-during-your-commute-workers-told-201110314485
It's OK to cry during your commute, workers told | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/rationing-bog-rolls-and-other-ways-2021-could-be-even-worse-20201231203904
Rationing bog rolls, and other ways 2021 could be even worse | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - AS we start a new year, everyone is convinced 2021 cannot possibly be as bad as 2020. They're right. It could be worse.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/weekend/review/reader-offer-thundercatology-201007092895
Reader Offer: Thundercatology | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/how-to-make-football-fairer-for-everyone-by-a-guardian-reader-20210611209032
How to make football fairer for everyone, by a Guardian reader | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - FOOTBALL is a wonderful game, but is it too competitive? Here concerned Guardian reader Nathan Muir explains how he would make it a fairer and more liberal...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/alcohol/young-people-not-drinking-very-specific-acceptable-amount-of-alcohol-20251008260974
Young people not drinking very specific acceptable amount of alcohol | The Daily Mash
Oct 8, 2025 - YOUNG people are either exceeding or falling short of the specific amount of acceptable alcohol consumption older generations dictate, they have admitted.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/science-is-bollocks-confirms-johnson-20200611197378
Science is bollocks, confirms Johnson | The Daily Mash
Jun 18, 2020 - THE prime minister has announced that science is a load of bollocks only metropolitan liberal elitists believe in.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/rangers-pledges-sectarianism-as-usual-201202144892
Rangers pledges sectarianism as usual | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - MURDEROUS chant enabler Rangers last night pledged financial meltdown will not interfere with all the hating.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/man-who-was-outcast-as-teenager-feels-hed-fit-right-in-as-gen-z-20260915269342
Man who was outcast as teenager feels he'd fit right in as Gen Z | The Daily Mash
Sep 15, 2026 - A 42-YEAR-OLD who was a pariah in youth for not drinking, not having sex, being right-wing and having a mullet is gratified to see those things become cool.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/familys-easter-marred-by-accidental-purchase-of-xenomorph-eggs-20190419184835
Family's Easter marred by accidental purchase of xenomorph eggs | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A FAMILY’S Easter has been ruined after mistakenly buying the eggs of a fast-growing alien predator.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/smug-bitcoin-bastards-must-get-their-comeuppance-before-new-year-demands-britain-20171218141177
Smug bitcoin bastards must get their comeuppance before New Year, demands Britain | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THE UK has demanded that all the smug bastards who own bitcoin lose their entire investment before Christmas.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/jose-mourinhos-guide-to-being-a-miserable-bastard-20180828176771
Jose Mourinho's guide to being a miserable bastard | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - HOLA, this is the Special One, Jose Mourinho and I'm here to teach you how be a proper miserable sod.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/jurassic-world-not-accurate-says-tedious-little-man-2015061599241
Jurassic World not accurate, says tedious little man | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - JURASSIC World’s portrayal of the Ankylosaurus, has been criticised by a dreary man.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/mums-email-account-hacked-again-20160328107545
Mum's email account hacked again | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - A MOTHER has had her email account hacked for the 14th time this month.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/boomers-declare-victory-20210908211849
Boomers declare victory | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - BOOMERS have declared a final, crushing victory over Generation X, millennials, and the Zoomers who will be forced to pay for their social care.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society?page=596
Society | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/gadget-addiction-stops-children-from-being-annoying-201108044157
Gadget addiction stops children from being annoying | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - CHILDRENS' constant use of screen-based technology is making them much less of a pain in the arse, it has emerged.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/people-whose-name-begins-with-a-get-pocket-called-fifty-times-per-day-20160831113097
People whose names begin with 'A' get pocket-called fifty times per day | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - PEOPLE whose names begin with an A get pocket-called upwards of fifty times a day, it has emerged.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/more-ambulances-used-for-hipster-art-than-conveying-sick-people-2013032263505
More ambulances used for hipster art than conveying sick people | The Daily Mash
Jan 30, 2020 - EMERGENCY calls are going unanswered as hipsters pressure the NHS to decommission ambulances for their art projects.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/goonies-awful-say-experts-2013032563691
Goonies awful, say experts | The Daily Mash
Feb 26, 2019 - FILM researchers have discovered that The Goonies is actually dreadful.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/kids-allowed-on-term-time-holidays-if-they-bring-back-some-duty-free-20170328124939
Kids allowed on term time holidays if they bring back cheap fags and some Grappa | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - CHILDREN will be allowed to travel abroad during term time as long as they bring back booze and fags for teachers.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/how-to-bollocks-up-your-christmas-shopping-20201222203739
How to bollocks up your Christmas shopping | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - READY to spend the last few days before Christmas in a blind panic for gifts and food, online or in real life? Here’s how to end up with none of the stuff you...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/scientists-discover-fourth-takeaway-option-20200117192645
Scientists discover fourth takeaway option | The Daily Mash
Apr 5, 2023 - SCIENTISTS have announced the discovery of a fourth takeaway option that is neither Chinese, Indian and pizza.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/unemployed-limited-to-sky-documentary-package-2013011055560
Unemployed limited to Sky 'Documentary' package | The Daily Mash
Jan 31, 2020 - SKY viewers on unemployment benefits will only be allowed to watch documentaries, according to new guidelines.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/best-way-to-fend-off-shark-is-to-let-it-swallow-you-then-punch-your-way-out-20171115139159
Best way to fend off shark is to let it swallow you then punch your way out | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THE best way to fend off a shark attack is from within the shark, it has been claimed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/nigel-farage-and-other-twats-single-people-cant-believe-are-getting-a-shag-20231128242902
Nigel Farage, and other twats single people can't believe are getting a shag | The Daily Mash
Nov 28, 2023 - NIGEL Farage is in a relationship with right-wing French activist Laure Ferrari, so how come you’re single but twats all have partners? Here are some that...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/opinion/columnists/my-big-gap-year-dr-skivago-201003092542
My Big Gap Year: Dr Skivago | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - Despatches from Poppy SpaldingIT'S surely not just the president of Russia and me who found ourselves wondering during the women's parallel giant slalom 'is...
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/andrew-lloyd-webber-pens-musical-about-what-a-twat-he-is-20151028103354
Andrew Lloyd Webber pens musical about what a twat he is | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - ANDREW Lloyd Webber's new musical will tell the story of a billionaire who flies across an ocean to stop poor people getting tax credits.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/cameron-demands-colour-coded-clothing-for-debates-2015010994232
Cameron demands colour-coded clothing for debates | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THE prime minister has refused to take part in TV debates unless all participants wear suits colour-coded to their party.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/bruno-re-cut-for-mps-200907171913
Bruno Re-Cut For MPs | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - THE makers of x-rated comedy film Bruno have released a re-cut version with added sexual perversity, just for British MPs.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly?page=29
News Briefly | The Daily Mash
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/u2-skips-straight-to-reunion-tour-2014120193323
U2 skips straight to reunion tour | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - U2 WILL skip an inevitable decade of falling sales, a split and solo albums by going directly to the long-awaited reunion tour, it has been announced.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-191-20160504108550
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Every dog has his day, and it's your dog's day this Thursday. Get his his robe and crown.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/met-office-finally-blamed-201004202655/
Met Office Finally Blamed | The Daily Mash
May 16, 2018 - AFTER five days of disciplined self-control Britain finally gave in last night and blamed the Met Office for volcanoes.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/six-shit-biscuits-only-grandparents-think-are-a-treat-20221116228193
Six shit biscuits only grandparents think are a treat | The Daily Mash
Nov 16, 2022 - WHY did your grandparents make you eat fig rolls when Party Rings were available? Did they realise rationing had ended when they bought these?
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/i-will-change-government-policy-for-a-good-quality-mens-jacket-by-keir-starmer-20240918250987
I will change government policy for a good quality men's jacket. By Keir Starmer | The Daily Mash
Sep 25, 2024 - I REALLY need a winter coat, so if you’d like to buy me one – a £950 Canada Goose would allow me to do my job effectively – then pick the law you don’t like.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/trump-is-on-glue-confirms-white-house-20201107122684
Trump is on glue, confirms White House | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/im-not-right-wing-i-just-agree-with-everything-right-wingers-say-and-do-20220829225064
'I'm not right-wing, I just agree with everything right-wingers say and do' | The Daily Mash
Aug 29, 2022 - A MAN who voices right-wing views, reads right-wing media and agrees with all right-wing policies is definitely not right-wing, he has confirmed.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/membership-of-doomsday-cults-up-8000-percent-20170318124393
Membership of doomsday cults up 8,000 percent | The Daily Mash
Mar 29, 2022 - DOOMSDAY cults have seen a huge rise in new memberships over the last six months, it has emerged.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/dont-even-fking-think-about-it-20221017226997
Don't even f**king think about it | The Daily Mash
Oct 17, 2022 - THE Conservative party has been advised to not even f**king think about doing the thing they are very clearly considering.
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